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Author Comment
cmoore0013
Unregistered User
(6/18/06 8:03 pm)
Full treatment for my version of Snow White! Need opinions!
As we begin, the king has been dead for a few months, Adrian, the queen's lover is working on some type of demonic magic next to the queen's mirror. The sequence is intercut with the pregnant queen sewing by a window and she pricks her finger. She hears a scream and she runs to Samuel, Adrian's brother, who is the castle huntsman. They enter the room and find a few dozen candles and a pentagram etched enxt to the queen's mirror, but Arian is nowhere to be found. Later that night, the queen hears voices. She ges out of bed and discovers that Adrian is trapped inside of the mirror. Adrian tells her that he can see everything.

Flash forward to seven years later, the queen's daughter is now awaiting her 7th birthday. The queen is begginning to plan an outrageous celebration for her when she asks the mirror is she is still the fairet one of all. She still is the fairest, but the queen is disturbed to find out that after all this time, Adrian wants out of the mirror. He informs her that he needs a human sacrifice. The queen transfer's Samuel and Adrian's souls, leaving Samuel stuck in the mirror and adrian in Samuel's body.

After a few days, the queen notices that Adrian is growing a little too fond of her young daughter, triggering a jealous rage, telling him to take her into the forest and bring back her lungs and liver . He tries, but the child runs away, taking shelter with 2 miners in thier tidy cabin in the woods.

A few months go by and the queen learns from Samuel that the child is alive. She goes through all the disguises to kill her, until the apple finally works.

A few years go by and the chld has grown a bit from when she was first palced in the glass casket by the minders. One day, a prince finds her and upon trying to move her, triggers the apple to be coughed out of her mouth. They agree to get married after a few months of getting to know each other.

On the wedding day, the queen and Adrian are getting ready for the wedding when Sameul informs her that the daughter is alive and still more beautiful than herself. In a rage, she plots one last trick. She plots to trap the child's soul in a mirror and put hers in her body. As the queen enters the wedding, she raises the mirror to the child's face, after saying a spell under her breath. The guards seize her and make her dance in red hot shoes, not knowing that the queen's soul has already been transfered into the child's body. The queen's body goes limp, as the child picks up the small mirror, seeing her own reflection becconing to her to let her out. She only smiles and continues on with the celebration.

So, I know it might be a little hard to swallow, but I tried to put my own spin on it.

cmoore0013
Unregistered User
(6/21/06 7:52 pm)
hello?
anyone!

dlee10
Registered User
(6/22/06 7:48 am)
Re: hello?
I like it! The twist at the end is especially wicked. I love re-vamped fairy tales as long as they don't veer too far from the original. Your version fits the bill.

I usually just lurk here. I leave the critique up to the scholars and authors. For what it is worth I would love to read your Snow White in novel form.

cmoore0013
Unregistered User
(6/22/06 2:29 pm)
Thank you
Thank you very much. It is actually a film, so that gives us even more to work with, you know?

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